So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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