Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Randomize
