C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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