I don't usually arrange sex via text message
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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