It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
