who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
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