So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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