the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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