Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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