whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
