I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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