You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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