i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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