So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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