STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
