He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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