I must be too annoying 4 u.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
