lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
