Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Randomize
