On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
