I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
