bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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