so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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