My friends, they love my intelligence
I wish i was in the wii world.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
