I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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