I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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