that's an acceptable place to lick
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
