if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
