some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
