Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's never too late to be topless.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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