Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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