I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
