So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
