Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
