id be glad to
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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