Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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