we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
