Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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