I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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