THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
