I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
