I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
