It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize