Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
