I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
