It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
