He is an equal opportunity slut.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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