Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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