Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
