Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
