Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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