My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
