i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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