did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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