Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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