Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
