shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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