i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
