Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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