Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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