i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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