that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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