Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
