Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
