He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just had sex on a roof
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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