:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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