Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
