Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
