If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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