Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize