So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I need to calm my uterus...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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